Daddy's Birthday

My heart is breaking. I can not not think without crying. I want something to comfort me - nothing can.

My dad is not here. Tomorrow it will be sixtynine years since he was brought into the world.

My daddy - a parent- a death.

Parents have been dying for thousand of years. I am not the first to loose a parent nor the last. BUT

IT WAS MY DADDY. IT IS MY GRIEF. MY PAIN. TEARS FALL.

I am not sure how to let the pain out. I am afraid to open the door. I do not want to exist tomorrow but I have to go to work - I have to be a nurse to others - all the while craving someone to care for me. That the arms that gave the healing hug are no longer here.

No pictures anymore!!

It seems I can not post pictures anymore - so I will probably change blog sites.

Seems I got used to posting pictures with my writings - and I don't want to do it any other way.

Yup - pictures seem to help me express.

Went wheel'n Sunday. Took my friend Brandi. First time I went with the club.

It was so fun. Since the group was there I got to go rock crawling. Went up a dry wash with lots of big rocks to go over. Only went to about a 3 1/2. It came to a 4 (a waterfall - rocks stacked like a waterfall) but there was no place to turn around if you did make it up as the wash narrowed.It was a 9 hour day and only seemed like 2 hours. It is in my blood and I want to go again!!

Going away this weekend. Will see what happens. It will be the determination for my future.

If I change blogs - will let you all know where I am going.

Sunset

Sunset

Days end

Nights end

Love ends

Friendship ends

Songs end

Stories end

Races end

Roads end

Life ends -Tis the sunset on a soul. Tis the sunset of a smile. Tis the sunset of a voice

Grief never ends

Broken Heart

Tis a broken heart

It will never mend

Years will not heal

Suspicion lurks around every day

Waiting to be hurt again

Living that way - can it be done

Would it be better to leave

Or then would the tear become fatal

The past can not be changed

Mistakes are made because of sel

Hell surrounds me while sleeping

Hell consumes me while awake

Decisions

Decisions