Daddy's Birthday

My heart is breaking. I can not not think without crying. I want something to comfort me - nothing can.

My dad is not here. Tomorrow it will be sixtynine years since he was brought into the world.

My daddy - a parent- a death.

Parents have been dying for thousand of years. I am not the first to loose a parent nor the last. BUT

IT WAS MY DADDY. IT IS MY GRIEF. MY PAIN. TEARS FALL.

I am not sure how to let the pain out. I am afraid to open the door. I do not want to exist tomorrow but I have to go to work - I have to be a nurse to others - all the while craving someone to care for me. That the arms that gave the healing hug are no longer here.