Twist, Turns, Bumps and Bruises

What does one do if not allowed to write negative feelings down?

It gets all stored up - kinda like a mouth full of terrible swill and no were to spit - sounds ladylike doesn't it.

I have been riding on a level of extreme pain for a week. Maybe that is what it is. maybe it is the loss of the ability to speak ones mind - to be heard. Maybe it is because I can not have chocolate when I need it. When I do get it it is not the same as it once was. Maybe it is because I am just me.

If it is not my physical pain then is it my emotional?

I joined two ladies in the elevator the other day. One was speaking to the other"I do not think there is anything else left in my life that can go wrong - I looked her straight in the eye and said - don't ever say that because there is always something else. LOL

So - here it is - depression AGAIN - severe depression - for hell's sake why now - why again?

I am on my meds can it not LEAVE me alone for at least a season?

What more can I balance on my plate without it tipping over, spilling, falling and breaking into a million pieces.

Habbits die hard - off to jeep'n I will go tomorrow. My companion - a 6pack. My destiny - unknown - my return - I would just as soon never.

Oh - just in case "the man" figures out how to get into this I must end on a positive note.

It t'was a beautiful spring day. I had a awesome massage. I got to visit with many of my work friends. One even brought in his guitar to play and sing before moving on to become famous. Rocky is driving great - looks good with the new windshield and part of the bush grafitti buffed out. My sons said hello, the man bought me a awesome movie that I watched. See life has tons of positives. Who would have "thunk it" My life has tons of positives - that is why I get so angry at the depression. That is why I get so angry at needing to grasp at things to try and quelch the ugliness of depression.